X-Men: First Class Review

The X-Men franchise has been enjoying a pretty good run in the live action movie stakes. The trilogy, kicked of in 2000, stayed respectable throughout and even the less favoured follow-up, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, managed to avoid flop status. Truth be told, I actually enjoyed Wolverine more than the third movie in the trilogy. Ok, so I have a man crush on Ryan Reynolds. So what? Now we have X-Men: First Class, a prequel to the X-Men trilogy which depicts the collaborative period of Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier - better known as Magneto and Patrick Stewart - and the birth of the X-Men alliance along with it's evil twin, The Brotherhood of Mutants.

Faux Fact: The original X-Men comic series was to be called Men+, but had to be renamed at the last minute due to the existence of a men's sexual virility supplement of the same name.

Limbo Review (XBLA)

LIMBO is a puzzle platformer available via the Xbox Live Arcade and represents the first game produced by Playdead, an independent game studio out of Denmark. The tagline for LIMBO simply reads: "Uncertain of his sister's fate, a boy enters LIMBO." and that’s all you need to know. This is a game that is best discovered and not explained, so if you’re reading up on this game to help you determine whether or not you should buy it, you can stop right now. You should buy this game. "I don’t know; it’s pretty expensive." Just shut up and help support independent developers already.

Continue reading this review on AusGamers

Knight and Day Review

It was a slow week at the cinema this week. It was a choice between The Karate Kid or Knight and Day and since I wasn't ready to sit through an unnecessary rehash of a cherished childhood favourite just yet, I opted to see Knight and Day. You might be surprised to hear that it's a fantastic film. And you'd be right to be surprised because I don't usually tell such blatant lies.

Knight and Day is the story of rouge federal agent Roy Millar and all-American tomboy June Haven whose fates become entwined after a chance encounter at an airport. Roy in is possession of a kill-worthy⁺Is it hyphenated? Then it's a real word.  plot device and his pursuers idiotically assume that June is in cahoots with him. And so, not only does Roy have to evade an army of bad guys, but he also has to keep a useless, screaming June alive too. If I were Roy, her role would have been downgraded to "Female Human Shield 1". Bullets are fired out of guns, people in cars chase other people in different cars and everybody goes to Europe. Good times.

Toy Story 3 Review

How 'bout that Toy Story, huh? Crazy successful. Back in 1995, Toy Story wasn't just Pixar's first crack at a feature film; it was the fist full-length movie in history to be comprised solely of CGI. Amazingly, as much as computer-generated imagery has evolved since in the past fifteen years, Toy Story still holds up today and is as well received by the current generation of youngsters at is was by kids "back in the day". It is, without question, a classic.
Four years later - after releasing A Bug's Life in 1998 - Pixar delivered a solid follow up in Toy Story 2. Thankfully, rather than trying to capitalise on its success with instant sequels, Pixar set aside the property and created a variety of equally enjoyable movies. And now the time has come to return to the franchise and find out what has transpired in the eleven years since we spied in on Woody and his friends.

Futuretronics Mini Remote for the PS3 Review

At my house, all media centre duties have been delegated to the PS3. Sure, it's not as flexible as a dedicated media centre/PVR, but you just can't go past something that puts network shared videos, music and photos on your TV, plays Blu-rays and DVDs, and plays PS3 games all for under $500.

Until now, I've been using the wireless PS3 controller as a remote when watching movies and such, but this has its drawbacks. In order to minimize the number of recharges and therefore prolong the life of my controller, I have it setup to turn off after a short period of non-use. So, say the phone rings and I have to pause the movie I'm watching, I'll have to hold the PS button for a few seconds to turn the controller on, wait for it to sync with the PS3, and then press pause. Annoying. Also, one hand operation can be awkward.⁺That's not a joke. 
"Sony makes genuine PS3 remotes. Just go buy one." Yes they do, and no I won't. See, the PS3 remote Sony offers - for around $39 - uses Bluetooth like the PS3 controller and must be "always on" as opposed to a standard infrared remote which only uses power while a button is being pressed. This means Sony's PS3 remote chews through its AA batteries much faster than your average TV remote. On the up side, you do get a full featured remote that, thanks to Bluetooth, works without being pointed at the PS3.
But all I want is something cheap to pause and rewind videos without needing its batteries changed every other week.

Enter Futuretronics' Mini Remote.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Review

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is the first instalment in a series of books known as The Millennium Trilogy written by the Swedish, and now quite dead, author Stieg Larsson. The original title of the book (and also the film) is Män som hatar kvinnor, which translates to: Men Who Hate Women. And How! I haven’t seen this much non-consensual sex in the one sitting since I had jury duty.⁺I mean, I’d just gotten broadband at the time. 

The story begins with investigative journalist Mikael Blomkvist(Michael Nyqvist ) being found guilty of defamation against Hans-Erik Wennerström. Mikael had printed some rather accusatory statements in his magazine, Millenium, and earned himself three months in prison. But before his sentence begins, he is summoned by Henrik Vanger(Sven-Bertil Taube ), retired CEO and head of the Vanger family dynasty who beseeches Mikael to use his journalistic powers to investigate the disappearance of his great niece some thirty-five years prior.

Hot Tub Time Machine Mini Review

Adam(John Cusack  ), Nick(Craig Robinson  ) and Lou(Rob Corddry  ) are three out of touch friends, whose lives are in varying states of disarray. The trio is brought back together when Lou has a suspiciously suicidal near-death experience. Hoping to reconnect and rejuvenate, Adam and Nick take Lou for a weekend away at the Kodiak Valley Ski Resort, just as they did back in their heyday. Adam's adolescent, live-in nephew Jacob(Clark Duke  ) also comes along for the trip, much to Lou's chagrin. Upon their arrival, they discover that "K-Val" isn't the party paradise it once was. Oh, well. At least their room has a hot tub they can rock out in. I don't want to give too much more away, but the hot tub may or may not send them back in time. To the year 1986. Maybe.

Kick-Ass Review

I know it's been a while since the last write up, but allow me to make it up to you with this kick-ass review which, as it turns out, is not that great; the movie, that is. The review is great. So read along, won't you, as I narrow-mindedly condemn the film for not being exactly like the graphic novel which I just so happen to be giving away to one lucky reader.

How To Train Your Dragon 3D Review

How I Met Your Dragon is the latest offering from our friends at Dreamworks Animation, the folks responsible for such computer animate hits as Shrek and Madegascar, among many others. "They did Ice Age too, right?" No. You're thinking of Blue Sky Studios. If you're going to butt in, try not to make a fool of yourself. No, I don't have children. Yes, I went to see this movie by myself. No, I didn't regret it.

Cop Out Review

Cop Out is Kevin smith's first film since the funny and decidedly adult Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Alas, this time he is only the director, the writers being Mark & Robb Cullen.^{+Don't worry. This time it's ok if you haven't heard of them.} Bruce Willis plays a cop? I'm listening. Tracy Jordan is his wacky partner? Sounds like it could be fun. Seann William Scott plays an annoying petty criminal? No deal! Just kidding; you had me at "Bruce Willis".

Jimmy Monroe and Paul Hodges are a pair of streetwise NYPD detectives and partners of 9 years. When we meet them, they are about to interrogate a small time drug offender in the hopes that he'll turn snitch and help them nab someone higher up the food chain. You may not have heard, but New York has been having a bit of trouble with organised crime lately and the cops are keen to put a stop to it before NY becomes an unsafe place to live.

Green Zone Review

Why am I reviewing Green Zone and not The Hurt Locker, winner of six Academy Awards? Because I didn’t catch The Hurt Locker while it was showing at my local cinema and I’ll be damned if I’m paying sixteen bucks to see it at the Megaplex; that’s why. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun with Green Zone, right kids? Personally, I’ve been itching to see Matt Damon kick some ass ever since "The Informant!" Does Matt kick ass? Does this Green Zone kick ass? Read on to find out and don’t just scroll to the end like a douche.

Alice in Wonderland Review

This latest feature film adaptation of Alice in Wonderland sees another beloved childhood tale get the Tim Burton treatment. Those of you who have seen Tim’s interpretation of Charlie’s Adventures in Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory will know that he has about as much respect for the source material as Trump does immigrants. (Updated for 2020! You're welcome. - Ed) Perhaps that’s a bit harsh, but it’s fair to say that he’s not shy about reinventing key elements. If you thought he was heavy handed with his renovation of the chocolate factory, wait til you see the overhaul he’s given Wonderland.

The Road Review

I like a good doomsday flick and ever since the flying train wreck that was 2012, I've been hanging out for something to restore my faith in the genre. I could tell from the preview for The Road that it was going to be a film with substance and not just an excuse to have the CGI guys crash an aircraft carrier into the White House. But just how good is it? Read on and find out just how badly humanity screws itself over this time.

The Road is based on the 2006 book of the same name that won Corman McCarthy the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Does that name ring a bell? No? Well it should. McCarthy wrote the bleak yet brilliant (but mostly bleak) No Country For Old Men.

Halo 3: ODST Review

Since this is the first game review I've posted, I feel an explanation is in order. I am not one to run out and buy a game at launch. I have done in the past, but I generally don't. The two main reasons for this are: 1) I like to take my time with a game and wont buy another while I have one on the go. I refuse to diminish my enjoyment of a good game just to keep up with the release schedule. 2) In general, the older a game is, the cheaper it is. Since there are still many great games I haven't played, I have plenty to keep me entertained while I wait for the new releases to drop in price.
So this is why I give you this Halo 3: ODST review now and not several months ago. Enjoy.

For the uninitiated: The year is 2553 and the human race is in the middle of having their shit ruined by a bunch of alien scientologists known as The Covenant. This menagerie of religious extremists is made up of several different alien species with devotees numbering in the tens of billions (I assume). The Covenant worship a once great, but now absent group of beings they call The Forerunners. They gallivant around the universe scavenging Forerunner artefacts and ruins with the kind of blind determination only religion can provide. For some reason, the Covenant hierarchs decided that the human race was unworthy of joining The Covenant and that it would be better for everyone if every last human was slaughtered. Most of the human race thought a bit more of themselves than that and put up a fight. Thus, the largest war this galaxy has ever seen rages on.^{+Yes. Even larger than World War II}

Ghost Town Review

When Americans mock the English there's almost always a jibe about England's supposed lack of oral hygiene. That's why I found it amusing to see Ricky Gervais - an Englishmen - as dentist Bertram Pincus, living in New York and tending to the teeth of Americans.

Now, Pincus is clearly not a people person and straight up doesn't care about anyone but himself. This seems to be working fine for him so far if you ignore the fact that he's a lonely, unliked prick. When Pincus undergoes a minor procedure, there is a "complication". The side effect of which being that he can now see the GHOSTs that loiter around TOWN. Pincus is weirded out by the dead folk, but seems more disturbed by the botched operation than the bothersome apparitions.

Astro Boy Review

You knew the day would come. You know that no cherished childhood memory was safe. But you held out hope. you held out hope that when it was time for your beloved Astro Boy to be strapped into the remake chair, he would be given a few minor upgrades and a fresh coat of paint. Instead, he has been beaten beyond recognition by the bat of computer animated children's feature. It is with a heavy heart and a total lack of surprise that I must inform you the Astro Boy did not survive the procedure. This offensive marionette that bears his name may fool the children as they laugh and clap at its antics, but we adults are left bemused, asking "Who is responsible for this crime? Will no one be punished?" Before I continue, you may want to go and change into something black. No? You're right. Astro wouldn't have wanted that.

Inglorious Basterds Review

Inglorious Basterd is Quniton Tarantino's latest effort and this time round he is both writer and director. The film is set during the second world war in Nazi occupied France and focuses on the war taking place off the battlefield. While there is indeed action, this is decidedly more thriller than action flick.

We meet Lieutenant Aldo Reine (Brad Pitt) as he assembles a crack team of Jewish-Amercian soldiers to drop in behind enemy lines and engage in some good, old fashioned guerrilla warfare to both thin out the Nazi ranks and lower the morale of German soldiers by scaring the living shit out of them.
Of course, this is more that a simple tale of Nazi head hunting, but revealing any more of the plot here would only diminish your enjoyment of the film.

District 9 Review

District 9 is set in an alternate 2010 where it has been 20 years since a derelict alien spacecraft has come to rest above the South African city of Johannesburg. The impoverished, "worker class" aliens have wound up occupying the slums directly below their ship which has been rendered inoperable, assumedly by the detachment of a command module of some kind. While the aliens, or "prawns" as they are unaffectionately known, are afforded the same human rights as their terrestrial counterparts, they essentially live like animals and are regarded as such by the surrounding populace. The prawns haven't done themselves any favours by scavenging (see "stealing") anything that isn't nailed down and exhibiting extremely disruptive and often destructive behaviour. Their inability to integrate has resulted in them being separated by chain link and razor wire, turning the slums of Johannesburg into an intergalactic refugee camp dubbed District 9.

Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince Review

First things first: I haven’t read a single Harry Potter book. This is NOT a book review. I’m just giving my opinion of the 6th Harry Potter film, so don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m sure the books are great. Secondly, I should mention that I have seen the first four HP movies, but not The Order of The Phoenix (No.5). So I’ll admit I’m not the most highly briefed person going into The Half-Blood Prince.

Let me set things up: A creepy, Voldemort induced storm appears form nowhere, out of which pops some death eaters which bring down a busy walk-bridge by flying next to it. An article in a newspaper Harry is reading in the next scene tells us that some people died in the incident. So I guess falling a short distance into water is fatal now. In a subway coffee shop, Harry hits on a waitress, who for some reason is all up ons. But as he's about to meet her at the end of her shift, Dumbledor c@#k-blocks Harry and magics him off in clear view of everyone, yet no-one sees it. (It's magic!) He takes Harry to see retired Hogwarts professor Horace Slughorn in the hopes that the prospect of teaching the one and only Harry Potter will lure him back to the school. It seems that old Slughorn is privy to some information that could help Dumbldor in his quest to ruin Voldemort's shit, once and for all. And it goes on from there. A bunch of what you'd expect from a Harry Potter film takes place. Including but not limited to: Ron makes out with a girl. Harry makes out with a girl. Hermine gets upset about something. They play some quidich and later, Harry and Draco cross wands.