Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince Review

First things first: I haven’t read a single Harry Potter book. This is NOT a book review. I’m just giving my opinion of the 6th Harry Potter film, so don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m sure the books are great. Secondly, I should mention that I have seen the first four HP movies, but not The Order of The Phoenix (No.5). So I’ll admit I’m not the most highly briefed person going into The Half-Blood Prince.

Let me set things up: A creepy, Voldemort induced storm appears form nowhere, out of which pops some death eaters which bring down a busy walk-bridge by flying next to it. An article in a newspaper Harry is reading in the next scene tells us that some people died in the incident. So I guess falling a short distance into water is fatal now. In a subway coffee shop, Harry hits on a waitress, who for some reason is all up ons. But as he's about to meet her at the end of her shift, Dumbledor c@#k-blocks Harry and magics him off in clear view of everyone, yet no-one sees it. (It's magic!) He takes Harry to see retired Hogwarts professor Horace Slughorn in the hopes that the prospect of teaching the one and only Harry Potter will lure him back to the school. It seems that old Slughorn is privy to some information that could help Dumbldor in his quest to ruin Voldemort's shit, once and for all. And it goes on from there. A bunch of what you'd expect from a Harry Potter film takes place. Including but not limited to: Ron makes out with a girl. Harry makes out with a girl. Hermine gets upset about something. They play some quidich and later, Harry and Draco cross wands.

Oh, and there's something to do with a half-blood prince, but this aspect really doesn't come across as any more important than anything else that's taking place, which is odd since his name is in the goddamn title. I'm told by Potter fans that the book is much better in this regard. Speaking of ways the book is better than the movie: Towards the end of the book, there is an epic showdown where the shit hits the fan and it's on for young and old. In the movie however, this scene is reduced to Helena Bonham Carter ruining some place settings and breaking a window.

Now, I quite like the Harry Potter movies. There’s Hogwarts, which is pretty much the most fun school you could imagine that is still actually a school. They’re always busting out some new potion or device you wish you could get your hands on.¹ And there’s family size Robbie Coltrane to boot. Good times all ‘round. However, I can’t say that I enjoyed The Half-Blood Prince as much as previous instalments and I’d have to put it down to the plot. Maybe the movies have never communicated the plot well and I’m just noticing it now. Maybe it would have made more sense if I'd read the books. In any case, I'd have to say that it was my least favourite film in the Harry Potter saga. That's not to say it was a bad movie. Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince is a winner in my book and I'd highly recommend it to anyone who enjoyed the previous films. With all of the stunning locals and special effects, you really ought to see it on the big screen, so don't be a tight ass and wait for it to come out on DVD.³
If you haven't seen any of the Harry Potter movies, start at the beginning and work your way through them. It's a real trip watching the kids grow up. (How buff is Ron now, by the way) And if you think you might be into it, do yourself a favour and read the books first. A few of my grown up friends are Pot-heads² and they seem to get a real kick out of it.

Liked:

• Spectaular sets and special effects, as always
• Quidditch is now more of a contact sport
• Romance is now more of a contact sport
• There's a pub just off campus and the kids are allowed to get on the terps. I shit you not

Disliked:

• Hermine slaughters some little birds in a huff just because she can't use her words
• Every scene with Helena Bonham Carter in it. I'm still mad at her for Fight Club
• At one point, the unfavored students actually have to serve the teacher's pets canapés
• Nobody but Harry seems to notice when the death-eaters rampage through Hogwarts

Favourite Lines:

"Wands out, Harry" ~ Dumbledor
"The first night of the cycle is always the hardest" ~ Nymphadora

Final rating: Three and a half stars

¹Not that they’re always the most original. A love potion? Way to pull one out of the hat. - ²As in Harry Potter heads. Although I'm sure stoners would love it too. - Oof. This review is old, y'all.