Cop Out Review

Cop Out is Kevin smith's first film since the funny and decidedly adult Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Alas, this time he is only the director, the writers being Mark & Robb Cullen.^{+Don't worry. This time it's ok if you haven't heard of them.} Bruce Willis plays a cop? I'm listening. Tracy Jordan is his wacky partner? Sounds like it could be fun. Seann William Scott plays an annoying petty criminal? No deal! Just kidding; you had me at "Bruce Willis".

Jimmy Monroe and Paul Hodges are a pair of streetwise NYPD detectives and partners of 9 years. When we meet them, they are about to interrogate a small time drug offender in the hopes that he'll turn snitch and help them nab someone higher up the food chain. You may not have heard, but New York has been having a bit of trouble with organised crime lately and the cops are keen to put a stop to it before NY becomes an unsafe place to live. Jimmy yields to Paul's pleas to let him perform the interrogation for once and so we're forced to sit through a scene that is not nearly funny enough to be as long as it is. After being subjected to an unrestrained Tracy Jordan, the "perp" coughs up some info about a "drop-off" that's about to "go down", so Jimmy and Paul arrange a sting operation to nab the crook's supplier red handed. Paul disguises himself as a spruiker in a mobile phone costume while Jimmy disguises himself as a plain clothes cop hanging out the window of a parked car with a giant, telephoto lens. Their intended target turns out to be psychic and detects the brilliantly devised trap with his powers of advanced perception. Things go south and the boys wind up suspended. Wow! How fresh and original. Have you ever heard of a cop having to turning in his badge and gun because of his unconventional methods?^{+Yes, "his". Go burn your bra somewhere else.} From here on we witness a sequence of random events masquerading as a plot.



Bruce Willis plays Jimmy Monroe, a tough, honest cop whose main priorities are keeping the streets clean and paying for his daughter's dream wedding himself to deny his ex-wife's jerk of a husband the satisfaction of bailing him out financially. Bruce is suitably tough and funny and is far more enjoyable to watch here than in Surrogates. Bruce Willis should only ever play cops or taxi drivers from the future. Trivia: Did you know that Bruce Willis stared in a Playstation game called Apocalypse, lending his voice and likeness to the lead character? One of his lines of combat dialogue is "Happy trails!"

Tracy Morgan plays Paul Hodges, who has no business being a cop. It would make more sense if he was Jimmy's imaginary friend since he hardly ever does anything to help the cause. I'm not sure if it's ever explicitly stated, but I think Paul has a mild form of mental retardation^{+Don't worry, Paul. People used to say that I was retarded, but I already did.} Tracy did well, but not in every scene. He seems to have such an erratic nature that I'm surprised they managed to keep him on set long enough to film an entire movie. He supplies some good laughs and gets the thumbs up from me.

Seann William Scott plays a serial thief called Dave who is so intentionally annoying that he's lucky to be alive. In spite of that, he manages to be funny and likable enough to forgive him his shit stirring.

Totally necessary and completely safe

Kevin Pollak and Adam Brody play Hunsaker and Mangold, a pair of rival detectives whose long running anti-drug operation suffers a major set back thanks to Jimmy and Paul's botched sting. While they do stick the boot in when Jimmy and Paul screw the pooch, they're not just jerks for the sake of it and actually share some interesting interactions themselves. Both Kevin and Adam were entertaining in their respective roles.

Guillermo Diaz plays Poh Boy, a drug lord and head of the criminal organisation with which Jimmy and Paul find themselves entangled. His affection for baseball gives him a kind of bond villain quality, though any self respecting bond villain wouldn't be seen dead in the absolute dive where Poh Boy and his footmen have set up shop. He keeps an extensive collection of baseball memorabilia in what he refers to as his "diamond vault" which is not so much a vault as a living room with a few display cases in it. There's nothing to stop somebody just waltzing in and helping themselves while Poh Boy and Co. pop out to, say, attend a funeral or what-have-you. Guillermo does a decent job making Poh Boy appear menacing, but he too comes off as a passenger on the short bus as his speech is a little slurred and he often wears a slightly confused expression.

Jason Lee is a superb asshole as Roy, the jerk that married Jimmy's ex-wife while Michelle Trachtenberg was adequate as Jimmy's daughter Ava.

Knock Knock

I will now complain about various aspects of the film until I feel better:

The music was noticeably bad. There were many times it just didn't suit what happening on screen. Composer Harold Faltermeyer was brought in supposedly to give the film an "80's cop comedy" feel, but it just didn't turn out well.

Jimmy and Paul find a tiny flash drive and view its contents on a random stranger's laptop. This is bollocks as a close up of the flash drive clearly shows that it has a mini-USB connecter which does not fit in the standard USB ports built into today's laptops.

You'd think Jimmy might be at least a little bit curious about who the hell his daughter is marrying. We never meet the guy and Jimmy never shows the slightest bit of interest in him. If I were him, I'd be more concerned with who my daughter was marrying than with who was paying for the wedding.

It may be a drag, but tow the line or hit the road

At one point Jimmy agrees to track down a stolen car for Poh Boy so he speaks to the biggest car thief in town who, despite not being involved, happens to know who stole the car and where to find it. How is it that a drug lord with criminal connections can't track down the car just as easily?

Poh Boy kidnaps a woman when all he wants is the necklace she is wearing. Since he has no interest in the woman save for the necklace, why bother kidnapping her when he could simply have his goons kill her and bring it to him the necklace?

Paul's habit of being oblivious to his surroundings was funny, but cheap as a plot device. It's used three Goddamned times!

I feel better now.



The Cullen boys have previously only written for television, Cop Out being their first crack at a feature film and it shows. The plot defied logic and the pacing was a little off. On the other hand, I did like the characters and most of the dialogue. (Although, I suspect most of the best lines were ad-libbed.) It really was the strong cast that made this film worthwhile. Without the solid performances and the laughs, this would be a painful waste of $7.^{+Like the time I bet my friend $7 that I could roller-skate backwards.} And while Cop Out is funny, there were still plenty of gags that fell flat. It would be a mistake to take this movie as seriously as other cop comedies as the drama and suspense that should balance things out just aren't there.

I'm giving Cop Out a score of three mini-USB adapters out of five.

Worst line: "Forgive me father, for I am about to sin." ~ Poh Boy (throwing money on the church alter before having someone executed)
Best line: "Warriors! Come out and plaaaayyyyy!" ~ Paul Hodges

Recommendations: For more of cop comedy, try the Lethal Weapon or Beverly Hills Cop series. If you favour straight out shenanigans, see Pineapple Express.