Toy Story 3 Review

How 'bout that Toy Story, huh? Crazy successful. Back in 1995, Toy Story wasn't just Pixar's first crack at a feature film; it was the fist full-length movie in history to be comprised solely of CGI. Amazingly, as much as computer-generated imagery has evolved since in the past fifteen years, Toy Story still holds up today and is as well received by the current generation of youngsters at is was by kids "back in the day". It is, without question, a classic.
Four years later - after releasing A Bug's Life in 1998 - Pixar delivered a solid follow up in Toy Story 2. Thankfully, rather than trying to capitalise on its success with instant sequels, Pixar set aside the property and created a variety of equally enjoyable movies. And now the time has come to return to the franchise and find out what has transpired in the eleven years since we spied in on Woody and his friends.

If you are reading this and are somehow unfamiliar with the Toy Story series, then congratulations on finally getting internet access in your cave on Mars. In the world of Toy Story, toys are alive, but they play dead whenever humans are around. They laugh, they live, they cry, they get lost down the back of the couch. The series follows the adventures of a particular group of toys who reside happily in the bedroom of their owner, a generic male child named Andy.

Surely a claustrophobic toy would have given the game away by now.

The years haven't been kind to the toys of Andy's room. The once bustling community has been slowly whittled down to handful of diehard favourites. But now it appears that even they have finally reached the end of the line as Andy is now entering adulthood and is preparing for his imminent departure from home to begin his new life as an habitual binge drinker a college student. Certain events transpire and Andy's last remaining toys find themselves donated to Sunnyside, the local daycare centre⁺That's how it's spelt. Get used to it. , where they receive a warm welcome from the local toys. At first, this seems like the perfect setup: After years of being left neglected in the toy box, the refugees from Andy's room will have a never-ending stream of children to play with them. But, of course, things take a turn and exciting escapades ensue.

"Welcome to Sunnyside: Where everything is as ideal as it first appears."

All of the popular toys are back for Toy Story 3 with the exception of Buzz who got chewed while saving Woody from Andy's senile dog, Buster, and was consequently thrown away by Andy's mum. She bought him a new Buzz Lightyear doll, but the rest of the toys shunned him, because he's "not our Buzz." The original Buzz does make an appearance, however, towards the end of the film. It turns out he managed to escape the garbage and is now working with Andy's Sister's Bratz collection to wreak revenge on Andy by depriving him of his only irreplaceable toy, Woody. Nope. That's bullshit. I just made that up. Sorry.

The toys witness Andy's mother giving him an uncomfortably long kiss goodbye.

The surviving toys include: Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye, Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head, Rex, Slinky Dog, Hamm and a few others. One question: What the hell happened to Bo Peep?! I'm surprised Woody didn't jump in the garbage disposal after she "left". She was his angel. No wonder he fights so hard to be there for Andy; He's got nothing else to live for now. They could have at least had the balls to kill her off in front of us instead of binning her while we weren't looking. She might not have been the most exciting toy, but damn it, she was Woody's gal. As for new toys, there's a ship load. Most notable are: Lotso (Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear), Ken, Chuckles the Clown, Mr. Pricklepants, Cymbal Banging Monkey and Big Baby. There's also a plushy cameo by Hayao Miyazaki's Totoro


It can't go unsaid: Big Baby is creepy as hell. He's dirty, naked, towers over the other toys, has a bung eye and even rotates his head 180 degrees at one point. Merchandising possibilities: None.

"Hey, babe. How 'bout you and I trade paint some time"

As for visuals, Toy Story 3 looks wonderful. I was especially impressed with the detail during a scene which contained copious amounts of debris moving about.

I think we're at the point now where all of the CGI movies being released to cinemas are of exceptional quality. Comparing visuals is not so much a matter of "This movie has achieved a higher technical standard than that one", but more a case of "I like to look at dragons and this movie has dragons." Sure, execution still comes into it, but - for me, at least - not as much as style and subject matter does.

"Toys in MY vending machine?" - It's more likely than you think.

Toy Story 3 is great movie. It's funny, exciting, but I still found it sad. Andy's going off to college, Bo has fallen by the wayside, and the family dog is knocking on Death's door. This depresses me. Man, if I get this upset saying goodbye after only three movies, I'm gonna cry like a baby for the Harry Potter finale.

I also couldn't help thinking that the toys should have just revealed their sentience to Andy. Then he would have kept them around so he could use them to help him commit crimes, cheat on exams, or take photos inside the girl's locker room. There's a whole TV series in there.

"Sorry, Woody. If I brought you to college with me, those anime figurines would eat you alive."

This is a well executed and highly entertaining movie, though it didn't quite capture my imagination as much as, say, WALL-E did.⁺Did you just hear the voice? Weh-ahhh-lyyy  (Love that movie) You will enjoy it. The kids will love it. Go see it.

I'm giving Toy Story 3 a score of three and a half pigeons out of five.⁺I'll stop being such a tight-ass with stars starting next review. Promise. 

Parents: Don't forget about movie piracy. You can download movies illegally from the internet and your kids can see them that way. This means that you don't have to take your children to the cinema and I don't have to hear your daughter give you a running bloody commentary at the top of her goddamn lungs.⁺"Hey, kid: Is your mum blind? No? Then shut the fuck up!" 

Homework: Watch - in order - every movie and short Pixar has ever made. I'm not fooling around. You owe it to yourself to do this. If you have time, I also want you to find someone who doesn't like Pixar movies and spit on them.

BONUS:While your in the mood, check out these Toy Story 3 Easter Eggs (Thanks to @Sheramania)