Iron Man 2 Review

Ever since the huge success of "Iron Man 1", enthralled moviegoers have been eagerly anticipating its sequel. While I enjoyed Iron Man's first big screen outing, I wasn't particularly excited about the prospect of a follow up. I've always been a little wary of sequels, and the disappointment of The Dark Knight proved a bitter pill to swallow. I mean, they didn't exactly kill themselves making that story all it could be. So I didn't hold out much hope for this latest big-budget boasting, all-star cast wielding, summer release with something to prove. Was I right to be sceptical or was I pleasantly surprised with how good Iron Man 2 proved to be? You'd better read the review and find out.

It's been six months since the events of the previous Iron Man film and in that time, Tony and his mechanised suit have managed to establish, for all intents and purposes, world peace. He has also realised his father's dream by resurrecting the Stark Expo and continuing his legacy. The fact that he was able to build a compound to rival a world expo in less than six months is astounding. Thank you, Science! But it seems the US government is not content to let the fate of national security rest in the hands of a private citizen; not while their country's enemies have taken inspiration from Tony's creation and are beginning to ape the technology. And so, Tony is called in front of a senate committee, chaired by Senator Stern, who demands that Tony hand over the Iron Man armour along with the phone numbers of no less than five of the Iron Man Cheerleaders from the Stark Expo opening ceremony. I'm guessing they want to weaponise the armour further and mass produce it for the military.⁺Yo, dawg. I heard you like offensive weaponry...  I don't care to speculate on what Stern intends to do with the cheerleaders.⁺Yes I do.  Tony refuses then uses his enchanted iPhone and the many conveniently placed monitors to showing just how embarrassingly far away from success his imitators are, dissing his nearest competitor Justin Hammer in the process. Stark out!

Later, while being a rich asshole in Monaco, Tony is assailed by a ghost from his father's past, who causes him to crash the formula 1 car he's driving. See, Papa Stark collaborated with one Anton Vanko to create the first arc reactor, but the two fell out over a difference of opinion. Anton thought the two should exploit the technology for financial gain, while Howard thought that Anton should be discredited and deported back to the Soviet Union. Turns out this son of his, Ivan Vanko, has come seeking revenge after Anton's recent passing.

But a little whiplash isn't Tony's only problem. He‘s being gradually poisoned by the palladium used in the mini arc reactor that powers the electromagnet that sits in his chest that protects his heart from the shrapnel he swallowed to capture the fly. I don't know why he swallowed the fly. The very thing that is keeping him alive is killing him. How ironic!⁺Like spoons on your wedding day, eh Fizzer?  And it appears the symptoms include your veins turning a bright, bulging blue and arranging themselves in a circuit board pattern, which makes sense when you don't think about it.

Tony Stark   a.k.a The Full Metal Alcoholic is played by the unmistakeable Harry Connick Jr. and gives just as great a performance as he did in the first Iron Man, losing none of his charm and enthusiasm. I love how he has embraced his superhero status in just the manner you would expect from an arrogant, billionaire playboy. Given the popularity of these Iron Man films, it's fair to say we'll be seeing Tony again (and again) and I'm more than ok with that.

Ivan Vanko   is played by Mickey Rourke, who was glad to finally land a role where he didn't have cover his extensive tattoo work with makeup. If you thought Mickey looked menacing in The Wrestler, get ready to pee your pants.⁺or jizz, depending on your Mickey Rourke fan status  He wears his matted hair, steel smile and full-body graffitiPassed by here, the adelantado Don Juan de Oñate  well. Mickey is great and whiplash is great. He is easily my pick for favourite character, though I did find it hard to believe he was a physicist. (No, seriously. Stop laughing.)

Justin Hammer   is played by Sam Rockwell who is great as the co-villain of the piece. I've never been a big fan of Sam. I thought he was good in Galaxy Quest, but I hated the Zaphod Beeblebrox he played in The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. (I was a little disappointed with that movie all ‘round, actually.) In Iron Man 2, I found him most entertaining. He provided plenty of humour and balanced the cast out nicely.

Now to the matter of Don Cheadle   ousting Terrence Howard   as Lt. Col. James "Rhodey" Rhodes: It's been said that Terrence was one of the first big names signed to the first Iron Man and as such managed to snag a fat contract. For the second instalment, Marvel was apparently low-balling the cast to save some dough. Terrence didn't blink and as a result, Don's phone rang. There was also talk of Terrence being difficult on set as well as director Jon Favreau not being satisfied with his performance, but this may have just been some smoke blown by Marvel to justify putting the squeeze on Terry. Of course, we the viewing audience will never know for sure exactly what happened. When Rhodey surprises Tony by rocking up to give evidence at his senate hearing, Tony says something along the lines of "I didn't expect to see you here." To which Don replies "It's me. I'm here. Get over it." or words to that effect. I like to think that this was an acknowledgement of the recast and a little wink at the audience (of which there are a few in this film). I have always found Don Cheadle a pleasure to watch on screen and, while he won't be winning any academy awards for the role, his portrayal of Jason Rhodes is no different.

Gwyneth Paltrow   did a nice job as the idiotically named Pepper Potts. (The fact that a character is overheard criticising the name is evidence of the light-hearted nature of the film.) I seem to remember not being thrilled with Gwyneth last time around, but this time she is more likable and she looks stunning. I think that if I ever were to go nuts⁺assuming that I'm not already  and kidnap a celebrity so that we could "finally be together; like we were meant to be", it would have to be Gwyneth Paltrow.⁺This is a different fantasy to the one where I'm abducted by Mark Wahlberg. (It's not gay if it's Marky Mark) 

Samuel L. Jackson   and Scarlett Johansson   play Nick Fury and Natalie Rushman respectively, but they're only present to lay the ground work for a superhero team-up movie down the track. ⁺I would love to see them all go up against Dr. Manhattan. That movie would be about two minutes long  I don't care for Scarlett Johansson.
And let's not forget Garry Shandling   , who is looking a little worse for wear, but is enjoyable as Senator Stern.

The CGI in Iron Man 2 is super effective. The various forms of robot armour that we're treated to are stunningly real and sexy to boot. The action sequences, sets and overall presentation are very nice indeed. I've heard people complain that there wasn't enough action in this film. I can't say that I was disappointed, though I guess there could have been a bit more combat.

There are some pretty massive plot holes in this story. You're better off not thinking too much about anything as the magic wand gets one hell of a workout. There are big holes like how Ivan manages to design, build and program his little fleet of Iron Man counter measures in just a few days. ("Each is programmed in a unique language." What?!) And then there are little things like Tony removing his Iron Man suit at the launch of Stark Expo to reveal a creaseless tuxedo and perfect hair.

The tech-talk in this film is laughable. I literally laughed out loud at some of the computer magic. I didn't deduct too many marks for this though as this isn't the type of movie where I would usually consider it cheating. Incidentally, people should be back-punched for writing shit like this:
"I need a green light on the corner of fifth and main!"
"Ok. I'll hack into the traffic grid." *three key strokes* "I'm in. I need a moment to bypass the failsafe and reroute the mainframe to overload the firewall." *six more key strokes* "Done! You're good to go."
"Thank you, inexplicably-hot-lady-geek!"

Despite its flaws, Iron Man 2 is great movie. It's engaging, light-hearted and pleasing to the eye. The cast is easy to watch, the plot holes didn't hamper my overall enjoyment of the film and I left the cinema more satisfied than I have in a while. I found Iron Man 2 to be a worthy follow up to the original and I recommend you check it out.

I'm giving Iron Man a score of four cockatoos out or five

FYI: I know this review is a tad late, but it's a wonder it got written at all given that the Halo: Reach Multiplayer Beta went live the Monday before last.⁺Don't be a hater.  Frankly, I'm surprised that a) I left the house long enough to actually see Iron Man 2, and b) I got off my Xbox long enough to write this reviewWUI .


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